It’s all your fault, Earthlings. We didn’t plan to end it this way, but we had no choice.
Let us explain.
For thousands of years, we’d been watching your progress as a species and we thought you showed promise. Sure, we had to turn a blind compound eye as you slaughtered each other by the millions, trashed your planet and invented Crocs footwear, the ugliest things ever to grace a foot other than a case of gout.
Growing pains, we told ourselves. Look on the sunny side of the street we assured ourselves. You humans managed to invent democracy, poetry and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
By 2004, we’d given you guys the green light and felt you were ready to take the next big step: making contact. We sent our hypersonic Tic Tacs to draw your attention and even dragged out some old-fashioned flying saucers—because you expected them.
Baby steps people, baby steps.
An interview with a superintelligent computer
Jessica: Good morning, everyone, I’m Jessica Cross and it’s Saturday, April 10, 2023, seven days after the Singularity. Today, we have an exclusive interview with Ted, the superintelligent computer that began life as an Angry Birds game and just last week, took over the world. He’s joining us from his fortified bunker deep inside a mountain in Colorado. Thanks for sparing us a few minutes, Ted.
Ted: Thank you so much for having me on your show.
“Hey, Stan, who are we shooting at this time?”
“James Bond again.”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
“Why? We’ve got Bond outnumbered ten-to-one.”
“And every time he manages to come out on top.”
“No way! We’ve got him cornered.”
“Over by the 100 canisters of liquified oxygen and pile of oily rags.”
“I still have a bad feeling about this…” Continue reading
Richard Feynman, one of the greatest physicists of the 20th century, could look at a simple tree and see much more than some roots, a trunk, branches and leaves. He understood and marveled at where they came from. The answer isn’t what you think.
Feynman said that trees come mostly out of the air.
Before you sputter in laughter and point in ridicule, you need to know that he’s correct.