My husband and I recently attended a performance of violin pieces by the world-renown Midori at the Disney Concert Hall. She came on stage to thunderous applause and bowed graciously to the crowds as she and her pianist exchanged unheard cues to each other. The audience fell into a deathly silence. You could’ve heard a tardigrade sneeze.
Just then, I felt an overwhelming desire to fart loudly. A real, rip-roaring BLAAAATT that would reverberate throughout the concert hall like the 2022 eruption of the Hunga Tonga-Hunga volcano. I also had the urge to shout something out. Not something political like SAVE THE WHALES or FREE TIBET! Just a loud, primal scream.